Presently we got into a conversation about the least restrictive environment (LRE) for the kid, how it was in a class at the school, and things began to get pretty tense. I then realized they were just reciting the litany, so I said to the spedhead, "Look, I understand that all this is about documenting that you're not putting her into an overly restrictive environment so that mom can come after you for denying FAPE, when you place her at home where she belongs. Nothing wrong with that. You have to do it. If you didn't, you wouldn't be doing your job."
Big smile, everybody relaxed, and everything was fine. The whole problem was that no way was mom able to understand what they meant, behind what they were pretending to mean - since they didn't feel safe to say straight what they really meant, until we told them that it was fine to be doing so. What do you do when nobody means harm, but it's not possible to say what you want to say unencrypted?